8 Principles to a New Start

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A recent story on the news was that 1 in 2 Canadians will get cancer. These won’t all be lethal cases but it’s still something nobody wants to get. The good news in the story is that there is ample evidence that 1/3 to 1/2 of most cancer can be avoided through lifestyle choices, namely being active, eating healthy, and avoiding smoking and alcohol.

What if you’re starting from zero? What easy and effective choices can you start making today that will make a difference in your life?  Among my friends, we call it NEWSTART:

  1. Nutrition – preferably plant based, whole foods, but definitely avoiding highly processed junk foods and meats.
  2. Exercise – you don’t have to be a superhuman athlete, just get moving. Take a walk, go for a swim, do some yoga. Make it fun and keep it simple.
  3. Water – not gallons a day but water rather instead of processed, sugar and/or alcoholic drinks.
  4. Sunshine – it’s good for most people.
  5. Temperance – enjoy life in moderation.
  6. Air – get fresh air outdoors but can also apply to healthy breathing. Sitting in a chair, scrunched up all day, isn’t healthy breathing.
  7. Rest – rest helps us be wholehearted and resilient. Learn and practice good sleep hygiene.
  8. Trust – nurturing your spiritual self and releasing worry.

 

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Diversion Tactics – Name Calling

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Lately, I’ve been discovering common behaviours of Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths. Keep in mind that those are personality disorders and it’s not a good idea to go around labelling people just because they’re jerks. These posts will cover just a few common behaviours that might alert you to possible mistreatment. Please check the link at the bottom for the full list. If these things are happening to you, please seek help so you can have hope and healing.

The following is a summary from an article by by Shahida Arabi at http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/. Shahida Arabi is a poet and the author of the book She Who Destroys the Light: Fairy Tales Gone Wrong.

Toxic people such as malignant narcissists, psychopaths and those with antisocial traits engage in maladaptive behaviors in relationships that ultimately exploit, demean and hurt their intimate partners, family members and friends. They use a plethora of diversionary tactics that distort the reality of their victims and deflect responsibility. Although those who are not narcissistic can employ these tactics as well, abusive narcissists use these to an excessive extent in an effort to escape accountability for their actions. Here are diversionary tactics toxic people use to silence and degrade you.

Name Calling

The lowest of the low resort to narcissistic rage in the form of name-calling when they can’t think of a better way to manipulate your opinion or micromanage your emotions. Name-calling is a quick and easy way to put you down, degrade you and insult your intelligence, appearance or behavior while invalidating your right to be a separate person with a right to his or her perspective.

Name-calling can also be used to criticize your beliefs, opinions and insights. A well-researched perspective or informed opinion suddenly becomes “silly” or “idiotic” in the hands of a malignant narcissist or sociopath who feels threatened by it and cannot make a respectful, convincing rebuttal. Rather than target your argument, they target you as a person and seek to undermine your credibility and intelligence in any way they possibly can. It’s important to end any interaction that consists of name-calling and communicate that you won’t tolerate it. Don’t internalize it: realize that they are resorting to name-calling because they are deficient in higher level methods.

 

3 Signs It’s Time For Change — MakeItUltra™

MakeItUltra™ Founder: Eric C., MA., PhD Candidate (USA) Website: MotivateInspireUplift.com “How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”~ Henry David Thoreau” 1. You are often jealous of others If you have a tendency to look at others with envy it may be time to make a change. Harold Coffin […]

via 3 Signs It’s Time For Change — MakeItUltra™

Diversion Tactics – Goal Posts

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Lately, I’ve been discovering common behaviours of Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths. Keep in mind that those are personality disorders and it’s not a good idea to go around labelling people just because they’re jerks. These posts will cover just a few common behaviours that might alert you to possible mistreatment. Please check the link at the bottom for the full list. If these things are happening to you, please seek help so you can have hope and healing.

The following is a summary from an article by by Shahida Arabi at http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/. Shahida Arabi is a poet and the author of the book She Who Destroys the Light: Fairy Tales Gone Wrong.

Toxic people such as malignant narcissists, psychopaths and those with antisocial traits engage in maladaptive behaviors in relationships that ultimately exploit, demean and hurt their intimate partners, family members and friends. They use a plethora of diversionary tactics that distort the reality of their victims and deflect responsibility. Although those who are not narcissistic can employ these tactics as well, abusive narcissists use these to an excessive extent in an effort to escape accountability for their actions. Here are diversionary tactics toxic people use to silence and degrade you.

Moving Goal Posts

The difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism is the presence of a personal attack and impossible standards. These so-called “critics” often don’t want to help you improve, they just want to nitpick, pull you down and scapegoat you in any way they can. Abusive narcissists and sociopaths employ a logical fallacy known as “moving the goalposts” in order to ensure that they have every reason to be perpetually dissatisfied with you. This is when, even after you’ve provided all the evidence in the world to validate your argument or taken an action to meet their request, they set up another expectation of you or demand more proof.

By raising the expectations higher and higher each time or switching them completely, highly manipulative and toxic people are able to instill in you a pervasive sense of unworthiness and of never feeling quite “enough.” By pointing out one irrelevant fact or one thing you did wrong and developing a hyperfocus on it, narcissists get to divert from your strengths and pull you into obsessing over any flaws or weaknesses instead. They get you thinking about the next expectation of theirs you’re going to have to meet – until eventually you’ve bent over backwards trying to fulfill their every need – only to realize it didn’t change the horrific way they treated you.

Don’t get sucked into nitpicking and changing goal posts – if someone chooses to rehash an irrelevant point over and over again to the point where they aren’t acknowledging the work you’ve done to validate your point or satisfy them, their motive isn’t to better understand. It’s to further provoke you into feeling as if you have to constantly prove yourself. Validate and approve of yourself. Know that you are enough and you don’t have to be made to feel constantly deficient or unworthy in some way.

 

How to Spot Codependency — MakeItUltra™

MakeItUltra™ Founder: Eric C., MA., PhD Candidate (USA) Website: MotivateInspireUplift.com “A lot of the time codependency looks like intense love, but “needing” another person often stems from fear, not love.” ~Jennifer Kass 1. You feel like you will die without the other person The first time I ever experienced what I would call true love, I […]

via How to Spot Codependency — MakeItUltra™